“I am the master of deception, and I can act like anybody’s best friend. All it is, is you gotta know how to play chess. If you don’t know how to play chess, maybe… drop down and try checkers.”
(season 5, episode 2)
“At any moment, something could pop off. This is Hurricane Situation… okay, and it’s heading straight for Snooki Island.”
(season 5, episode 1)
“Do you wanna know something funny? All two witnesses are gonna be in the same house at the same time with the boyfriend. That’s f<bleep>in’ crazy! That’s like ironic! Poetic!”
(season 5, episode 1)
WHOOSE GONNA BE THE BAD GUY? <hic>
(season 4, episode 12)
(man up, you sleaze bag)
I know Sitch hasn’t said anything funny for like five episodes now because we’re in that mid-season lull where they just argue about nonsense every week like the spoilt adult-children they really are but OH MY WORD SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THAT HAIR
(season 4, episode 9)
“It was supposed to be a menage a twin, with me and the twins. I was supposed to be twinning, and then it turned into… a robbery by Deena, and… my whole menagerie went awry.”
(season 4, episode 3)
Also I really love the way he keeps referring to his new blonde pets as “The two twins” - as opposed to all those sets of twins with more than two people, Sitch?
(season 4, episode 3)
“A threesome is not an easy task to accomplish, but then again The Situation does the impossible, and, uh, I think I can get it done.”
(season 4, episode 3)
“I’m in the smush room with Britney, we end up doing a little <bleep> pop. That’s a little ‘uh uh’ and a little <bleep> pop, put it together and it’s a <bleep> pop” (season 4, episode 2)
DRUNK RONNIE 4 LIFE <3
(season 4, episode 2)
